How to become friends with a dog that is afraid of people. If you force it to get closer, it will get further away

Hello. It’s a human bear.

During counseling, I hear this story a lot, especially from guardians who adopted abandoned children.

“My dog ​​is so afraid of people.”
“When guests come, they hide, and when someone tries to touch them, they run away.”
“Even if I give him a treat, he won’t come close. How should I get closer?”

First of all, the key to getting to know a dog that is afraid of people is not touching it quickly. Quite the opposite. Letting you know first that I am someone who will not force you to touch you is the beginning.

Why are timid dogs afraid of people?

Just because a dog avoids people does not necessarily mean that it has been abused in the past. Of course, uncomfortable experiences can also be the cause. But there are actually many more reasons.

• If you lack the experience of meeting a variety of people in a stable manner as a child
• If a stranger suddenly tries to touch or hug you and you are left with an uncomfortable experience
• If you are inherently cautious and sensitive
• If you feel uncomfortable with people’s hands, gaze, bending down, or quick approaches
• If the pattern of the guardian holding the dog and forcefully greeting it is repeated
• If you were born as a wild dog and were taught by your mother to be wary of people

The important thing is not to determine a single cause.

Now, the first thing to do is to see at what distance our dog becomes uncomfortable, to which people he is more sensitive, and whether he is free enough to eat a treat.

Signals sent by a dog that is afraid of people

Fearful dogs often send small signals first rather than rushing to bite them from the beginning.

If the owner misses the signal, the dog will express it more strongly.

Common signs of discomfort

• Lower your body
• Lower or curl the tail
• Put your ears back
• Avoid your eyes
• Lick your lips or yawn
• Step back
• Hide behind the guardian
• Can’t eat snacks
• The body becomes stiff and movement stops
• Growling or barking

There is a particularly important signal here.

I am unable to eat snacks.

If a stranger cannot eat a treat that he normally likes when a stranger approaches, the dog may be in a state of holding on rather than learning training at that moment.

What you should never do when befriending a fearful dog

There are some behaviors that are friendly to humans, but can be scary to dogs.

1. Approach head on

A fearful dog may feel pressured if a person approaches quickly from the front.

In situations where dogs are sensitive to each other, a curved approach or keeping a distance may feel safer than a frontal approach.

2. Make long eye contact

For people, eye contact can be an expression of interest.

However, for a fearful dog, it can be a pressure to “keep watching me.” At first, rather than maintaining eye contact for a long time, it is better to slightly avert your gaze and show a profile.

3. Extend your hand first

Many people hold out the back of their hand to become friendly with dogs.

Of course, there are some good dogs out there. However, putting your hand in front of your face can be a big burden for a fearful dog.

In particular, many children avoid or freeze when their hands are raised above their heads.

4. Bring out the hiding puppy

Do not force your dog out of hiding under the sofa, behind the guardian, or inside the room.

Hiding behavior is an expression of “I need distance now.”

If you ignore it and take it out, your dog may try to hide deeper, bark, or bite the next time.

5. Get scolded for growling

Growling may be a warning sign rather than bad behavior.

“I’m uncomfortable right now.”
“Please don’t come any closer.”

If you scold and remove this cue, your dog may move on to biting without warning the next time.

A fearful dog becomes less afraid of a person

If you want to be friendly with a fearful dog, you need to be a less burdensome person first, rather than trying to show “I’m a good person!”

Try like this

• Do not keep your body facing the dog
• Sit or stand slightly sideways
• Avoid prolonged eye contact
• Do not sing in a loud voice
• Do not put your hands in front of your face
• Wait until the dog approaches
• Place snacks quietly on the floor, not in your hands

The key is this.

“People who allow their dogs to choose” gain trust the fastest.

5 steps to becoming friends with a dog that is afraid of people

Now, I will explain it in a way that you can apply it right away at home.

Step 1. Being in the same space without doing anything

Don’t try to lure it in from the beginning by calling, touching, or holding a treat in your hand.

It starts with just being quiet in the same space.

Dogs observe people.

• Is that person chasing me?
• If I avoid it, will it follow me?
• Are you trying to catch me?
• Is it okay if I don’t get close?

As the dog gains experience with nothing happening, he begins to relax little by little.

Step 2. Make good things happen when you see people

Snacks are a great tool.

But usage is important.

If you try to feed your puppy by hand from the beginning, your puppy will have trouble.

“I want to eat a snack, but I’m scared to be near that person…”

If you create a situation like this, it will create conflict rather than friendship.

At first, quietly place the treat on the floor near your dog or gently roll it in a direction that is comfortable for your dog.

The goal is this.

“If that person shows up, he won’t catch me, but something good will happen.”

Step 3. Reward your puppy when he approaches on his own

If your puppy takes a step toward you, it’s a good sign.

However, you should not extend your hand right away.

Many guardians make a mistake here.

If a dog gathers up the courage to approach, but a person suddenly extends his hand, the dog can learn like this.

“If you get close, you can catch it.”

When he approaches, drop the treat on the floor and slightly look away again.

The puppy experiences, “It’s safe for me to approach.”

Step 4. Eat from your hands later

Snacking from your hand is a pretty close step.

Hands themselves can be scary to a fearful dog. This is especially true when it comes to strangers’ hands.

Start with floor rewards, then move on to eating from the hand once your puppy is comfortable staying near people.

Rather than sticking your hand out in front of the dog’s face, it is better to keep it next to the body or in a low position.

Step 5. It’s the last thing you touch

Just because a puppy comes close doesn’t mean you can touch it right away.

Getting close and touching are different.

When you first touch your dog, try briefly and starting from an area that is less stressful for your dog, rather than on the top of the head.

• Touch briefly for about 1 second
• Remove immediately
• One more time when the dog approaches again
• Stop when you dodge or turn your head

I describe this as “touching with permission.”

If your dog approaches you again, it may mean that it’s okay, and if he moves away, it may mean that you should stop for now.

What a guardian should do when a guest arrives

Dogs that are afraid of people become more nervous when guests arrive. At this time, the role of the guardian is very important.

Please say this to your guests.

“My dog is scared. Don’t touch it first, just pretend not to notice. Place the treats on the floor in the way I tell you.”

This one word is of great help to your dog.

Rules for visiting guests

• Do not call your dog as soon as a guest arrives
• Do not hold your dog and bring it to guests
• Do not allow guests to follow the dog
• Allow your dog space to hide
• Put snacks on the floor rather than giving them from your hand
• Give your dog time to quietly observe

The important thing for a fearful dog is not “getting close to people right away.”

First, you need to have the experience of nothing happens even when people are present.

What should I do with a dog that is afraid of people while walking?

There are many dogs that are fine inside the house, but avoid or bark when they see people outside.

In this case, you need to look at distance before familiarity training.

If your dog is already barking, pulling, and unable to eat the treat, then it’s too close.

Try this when taking a walk

• Go out during times when there are fewer people
• Choose a path with room to avoid rather than a narrow alley
• If you see a person, don’t get close immediately; observe from afar
• Find a distance where your dog can eat a snack even after seeing people
• U-turn before the reaction grows
• Brief conclusion from a successful point

Socialization is not about exposing yourself to a lot.

Repeat good experiences at a distance that does not collapse.

What to do today, what to do tomorrow

What to do today

• Write down what kind of people your dog is afraid of
• Share stimuli such as men, children, people wearing hats, loud sounds, fast movements, etc.
• Check how far a person must come before they can eat a snack
• Create a safe space where your dog can hide
• Establish a “don’t touch first” rule among family members

What to do tomorrow

• Take a short walk during times when there are fewer people
• Practice eating snacks while watching strangers from afar
• Do not forcefully introduce your dog when guests arrive
• Rather than practicing getting closer to people, start by practicing being comfortable looking at people

In these cases, it is safer to seek counseling first

If any of the following applies, it is recommended that the guardian not push through the familiarization exercises alone.

• Growls often occur
• When a person approaches, they rush at you or try to bite you
• React sensitively to the child
• Because it is a large dog, it is difficult for the owner to physically control it
• I am so nervous that I can’t even eat snacks
• Recently, I suddenly started to dislike people
• A specific area hurts or feels sensitive when touched

In particular, if you suddenly become sensitive, it may be a combination of behavioral problems as well as pain or health problems. In this case, checking your health may take precedence over training.

Checklist: How scared is my dog of people?

• ☐ Hide when strangers come
• ☐ If you hold out your hand, you will step back
• ☐ I can’t eat snacks when I see people
• ☐ Keep barking when guests arrive
• ☐ Hide behind the guardian
• ☐ Children and men are more afraid of certain clothes
• ☐ When you try to touch it, your body becomes stiff
• ☐ If you hug him forcibly, he will struggle or bite.
• ☐ Stop or pull when a person approaches while walking
• ☐ Ever growled or showed teeth

3 or more If applicable, it is better to establish distance standards and safety routines for people first rather than simply ignoring them.

Summary

FAQ

Q1. Is it right to become friends with a fearful dog with treats?

It helps. However, rather than trying to feed it from your hand from the beginning, it is better to place it on the floor or roll it around at a distance that is comfortable for your dog.

Q2. If the dog runs away, can I follow it?

It is better not to follow. Running away is a sign that distance is needed now. If you follow suit, the burden on people may increase.

Q3. If you let them smell your hands, won’t it make you feel better?

This method is not right for all dogs. For a fearful dog, having your hand in front of your face can be a burden in itself.

Q4. Should I get scolded if I growl?

Rather than scolding someone, you need to distance yourself first. Growling can be a warning sign of discomfort. Ignoring this signal can lead to greater defensive behavior.

Q5. How long does it take to like someone?

It depends on your dog’s temperament, experience, and intensity of fear. Sometimes it gets better in a few days, but sometimes it takes weeks or months. The important thing is not to become friends quickly, but to repeat the experience without being scared.

Good article to read together

• Socialization Puppy socialization missed, how to start again now
• Puppy The first thing to check when mat training doesn’t go well
• Reasons for being sensitive at home, environment to look at before training
• Puppy Things to keep in mind when first adopting, things to keep in mind from day one
• Contact fearful dog consultation